The first thing I did was turn off unsubscribe notifications. People need to be able to leave without giving the author a punch in the face on the way out.
No it's not. The path to weakness is crowded with all the people who intentionally avoided hard work and the resulting pain. Those who were willing to trade reality for the comfort of a lie. There is benefit to being soft. When you find whatever benefit there is to being weak, please let me know.
Everybody wants the power, but few want the consequences or the responsibility.
As did I! Why create opportunities for myself to ruminate on how a stranger hated my post (ME!) so much that they unsubscribed, when in reality, their ex was named Laura.
I usually post once a week but in June there was a big anniversary in the annals of baseball riots and I wanted to do it up. I remember excitedly telling my wife that I had three great ideas for pieces lined up and that I planned to put them all out that week to commemorate the anniversary. And her response, given sincerely and thoughtfully, was: "Are you sure you want to lose so many subscribers in one week?"
This is very funny, Carlos! On a serious note, there's some truth to this. Whenever I take a break, subs go up. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or, maybe the break gives readers time to catch up on old emails and forward them to their friends. Or, maybe a brief break is the sweat spot inside of Substack's black box algo, which is programmed to send new subs to people who are on a break to remind them that breaks, like coffee, are for closers. Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know this: way back when, before Notes was even a thing, I took a break and while I was gone I added a bunch of new subs and crossed the 1k milestone. The lesson? You guessed it. Stop posting, start growing.
The thing is if you post low quality content en mass you’ll lose valuable followers, and the more you post of a specific and valuable viewpoint, the more people who don’t share your values will unsubscribe.
The first scenario is bad and the second is good. You have to think about what kind of subscriber you’re trying to attract. Is your profile attracting people who are basically bots who aren’t actually reading or thinking about what you write, or are you developing an actual fan base?
It’s more complicated than simply how many followers you have. If you’re eventually going to try to monetize your work then you have to develop a relationship with your readers. They need to know who you are otherwise when you do start to publish for income you’ll find no one’s buying what you’re selling.
And someone who’s just creating content for contents sake is just… making the world a bit dumber one post at a time.
I had a random debilitating nerve injury cost me the use of my hands only a handful of posts into my new publication, and my biggest subscriber increase came over about a two-month period several months later. I gained 100 subscribers, about the same amount as I did within those first few weeks of writing.
I can further test your theory soon, too. I've finally recovered (albeit as slow as hell—nerves heal at a snail's pace of about a millimetre a goddamn day), so I can see how many of those loyal subscribers I lose once I return to spewing my opinions onto the world.
I was about to say that! I didn’t post for three weeks and got more subscribers than ever in six months and then posted three times in about two weeks and people unsubscribed 😂
My family and friends don’t care whether I post or not. They’re just being nice to me. They’re all very talented diagonal quick readers. They sift through it, in case I‘d follow-up, which I find very considerate.
I DO read Story Club! Usually. Okay sometimes. I read one last week. Okay just part of it. Kamala texted me and needed some money. Money that could have gone to a paid subscription.
One time I bought a whole book by George Sanders and it had a Chipotle chip inside it. How great is that? And the page was barely stained at all. (Sorry joking. What's a Chipotle? I'm in Scotland)
It’s a medium speed food restaurant here in America. Not quite McDonald’s, not quite… an inn? Honestly I’m not sure about the food situation in Scotland.
Anyway I was telling the truth about the bag of chips!
There is some value in not posting sometimes, as long as it's not permission to neglect your readers! I went through a really busy time in my life recently, and I couldn't post the quality I wanted for a couple of months. I kept my readers in the loop with a few short Notes posts. When I came back, I had one of my most successful posts ever!
I comment on Story Club (the free post on Thursdays) because all the writers subscribe to Story Club and that's how I attempt to grow my subscribers, because like, commenting on George Saunders substack is the closest I get to having a list like George Saunders'. But pay money and read it? I reserve that for all those writing craft books on my shelf that I am totally going to make time for one day....
Hah, I'm surely subscribed to more publications than I'm able to keep up with, but after this post yours definitely will be among the ones I make sure to read. I'm so tired of the "how to grow your Substack" guides, your post was the refreshment I needed. :)
The first thing I did was turn off unsubscribe notifications. People need to be able to leave without giving the author a punch in the face on the way out.
That’s so smart!
No it's not. The path to weakness is crowded with all the people who intentionally avoided hard work and the resulting pain. Those who were willing to trade reality for the comfort of a lie. There is benefit to being soft. When you find whatever benefit there is to being weak, please let me know.
Everybody wants the power, but few want the consequences or the responsibility.
I did the same thing, right from the beginning. Why invite the ego bruising? I just think of it as none of my business.
As did I! Why create opportunities for myself to ruminate on how a stranger hated my post (ME!) so much that they unsubscribed, when in reality, their ex was named Laura.
And the ex presumably wasn't you...
This is smart. Time to go to my settings and check if I did the same and forgot or if I need to do this.
I usually post once a week but in June there was a big anniversary in the annals of baseball riots and I wanted to do it up. I remember excitedly telling my wife that I had three great ideas for pieces lined up and that I planned to put them all out that week to commemorate the anniversary. And her response, given sincerely and thoughtfully, was: "Are you sure you want to lose so many subscribers in one week?"
I am also trying to post at least once a week. I have just started posting so I am riding the high of being new!
This is very funny, Carlos! On a serious note, there's some truth to this. Whenever I take a break, subs go up. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or, maybe the break gives readers time to catch up on old emails and forward them to their friends. Or, maybe a brief break is the sweat spot inside of Substack's black box algo, which is programmed to send new subs to people who are on a break to remind them that breaks, like coffee, are for closers. Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know this: way back when, before Notes was even a thing, I took a break and while I was gone I added a bunch of new subs and crossed the 1k milestone. The lesson? You guessed it. Stop posting, start growing.
That’s so interesting! Good to know my satirical take was accidentally right.
This means you’re smart and funny. Congrats!
Awww, shucks, thank you ☺️
The thing is if you post low quality content en mass you’ll lose valuable followers, and the more you post of a specific and valuable viewpoint, the more people who don’t share your values will unsubscribe.
The first scenario is bad and the second is good. You have to think about what kind of subscriber you’re trying to attract. Is your profile attracting people who are basically bots who aren’t actually reading or thinking about what you write, or are you developing an actual fan base?
It’s more complicated than simply how many followers you have. If you’re eventually going to try to monetize your work then you have to develop a relationship with your readers. They need to know who you are otherwise when you do start to publish for income you’ll find no one’s buying what you’re selling.
And someone who’s just creating content for contents sake is just… making the world a bit dumber one post at a time.
And posting but not sending?
This piece isn't entirely satire. There are many writers who take a leave of absence only to return and find they have more subscribers.
That is so surprising! But it definitely seems like that’s the case. Several people have now said the same thing.
One writer- friend closed down his stack and was still getting subscribers. Haha.
Haha, go figure
I had a random debilitating nerve injury cost me the use of my hands only a handful of posts into my new publication, and my biggest subscriber increase came over about a two-month period several months later. I gained 100 subscribers, about the same amount as I did within those first few weeks of writing.
I can further test your theory soon, too. I've finally recovered (albeit as slow as hell—nerves heal at a snail's pace of about a millimetre a goddamn day), so I can see how many of those loyal subscribers I lose once I return to spewing my opinions onto the world.
I was about to say that! I didn’t post for three weeks and got more subscribers than ever in six months and then posted three times in about two weeks and people unsubscribed 😂
True
Great last post. Happy to stay subscribed forever, thanks to the promise of great writing and of never having to read it.
Thanks! I promise I’ll never disappointing you by posting again.
I'd have 50% more subscribers if I'd stopped posting at the beginning of this year.
I’m telling you, we’ve been thinking about newsletters all wrong.
My family and friends don’t care whether I post or not. They’re just being nice to me. They’re all very talented diagonal quick readers. They sift through it, in case I‘d follow-up, which I find very considerate.
🤣
This is brilliantly funny and utterly soul destroying.
Thanks I guess? :)
I DO read Story Club! Usually. Okay sometimes. I read one last week. Okay just part of it. Kamala texted me and needed some money. Money that could have gone to a paid subscription.
There are only 24 hours in the day and so many Kamala texts!
Where do we opt for the daily digest?
Haha, right?
One time I got a bag of chips from Chipotle that had a George Saunders short story on it. Felt pretty special that day.
One time I bought a whole book by George Sanders and it had a Chipotle chip inside it. How great is that? And the page was barely stained at all. (Sorry joking. What's a Chipotle? I'm in Scotland)
It’s a medium speed food restaurant here in America. Not quite McDonald’s, not quite… an inn? Honestly I’m not sure about the food situation in Scotland.
Anyway I was telling the truth about the bag of chips!
https://news.syr.edu/blog/2014/07/16/george-saunders-work-featured-in-an-unusual-place-chipotle-packaging-58813/
There is some value in not posting sometimes, as long as it's not permission to neglect your readers! I went through a really busy time in my life recently, and I couldn't post the quality I wanted for a couple of months. I kept my readers in the loop with a few short Notes posts. When I came back, I had one of my most successful posts ever!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess! And I agree, nothing wrong with take a break when needed.
I didn’t post for two months and my subscribers grew by 30%. So I think you may be right!
That’s wild! And others have said the same thing. Guess there was some truth to the satire 🤣
I comment on Story Club (the free post on Thursdays) because all the writers subscribe to Story Club and that's how I attempt to grow my subscribers, because like, commenting on George Saunders substack is the closest I get to having a list like George Saunders'. But pay money and read it? I reserve that for all those writing craft books on my shelf that I am totally going to make time for one day....
Okay, but actually that’s so smart!
So if we stop posting and our newsletters grow old, should they not be called “oldletters”…?
🤣
🤣🤣
**makes mental note**
Don’t publish anything, EVER
The End.
Hah, I'm surely subscribed to more publications than I'm able to keep up with, but after this post yours definitely will be among the ones I make sure to read. I'm so tired of the "how to grow your Substack" guides, your post was the refreshment I needed. :)
Thanks! If I ever post again I’ll be glad to know you’re reading!