195 Comments

Listen, if you wanted to earn more than $74 a month, you should just work harder! I recommend reading Substack articles, writing comments, and posting Notes for 6-8 hours per day for 3-5 years. If you constantly write quality posts twice a week on top of all of that, you’ll have enough to make the monthly car payment on a 2008 Toyota Yaris.

This is the future, and it’s looking bright! 😎

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Beautiful foresight ❤️

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OMg that is too much energy drain! How can people keep up posting this much? 😩

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I put a shot of vodka in a room-temperature peach Celsius energy drink. Then, I chug it. Get two or three of those down and there's no post you can't write!

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I have WAY more than 1,000 subscribers (on my other account), btw.

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after a year for sure, I am way, way behind you all :(

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I have under 275k subscribers and am about to buy them all bus fare to the library, so they get busy reading other people’s work and never realize I’m not a real writer.

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I’m the last person on Substack with under 1000 subscribers but I’m Knott sure it counts because it’s technically Knott, A Newsletter

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It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise this was satirical...

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author

It's not just you -- the internet is so ridiculous it's getting harder and harder to write anything that's obviously satirical.

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I'm going to prescribe a 2x a week dose of reading my articles until you build up your satire muscles.

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I'm with you, sister!

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LOL same.

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I think because most articles are this effusive and serious? I was confused though. 😅

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It took me to the comments section (specifically this one) to understand what was happening. I hate this kind of post.

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Apr 26·edited Apr 27Liked by Carlos Greaves

I think the important take away here is if you work hard you can make both models fail for you.

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author

YES! I couldn't agree more.

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😂good one Tony!

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Apr 26Liked by Carlos Greaves

I’ve got one paid subscriber and I’m on top of the world, baby!

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Congratulations 🙌🏼 I got my first pledge yesterday & it blew my mind!

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Way to go! :-D

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It feels so good does t it?

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I got a pleadge that amounts to $60 a year. And that's about it.

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I 👏 that!

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Apr 26Liked by Carlos Greaves

I love all my 66 subscribers even though I'm pretty sure most of them don't actually read my newsletters. I couldn't say exactly what I write about. It goes from satirical to heartfelt to silly and back again. Maybe that's why I only have 66 subscribers! And maybe all of us under 1000ers or even under 100ers could create a new platform called Subtractstack, where writers will compete with each other to have the fewest subscribers

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Apr 26Liked by Carlos Greaves

I am interested in hearing more about this Library thing. Is this true? You mean, you can actually sit there and read books without someone asking, "Can I help you?" which we all know is code for, "You'd better buy something before I call Security to kick your sorry ass out of here." And, is it true you can borrow books from Library and take them home and read them there? Amazing! Hell, I don't care if it IS a government conspiracy -- I want to go there! One question: which app do I use to transport my body to said Library?

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author

It's true, you don't need to buy anything at Library. You don't even need to read their books, you can just go there and study or write. But, again, it's run by the government, so proceed with caution. The government even has a whole system of vehicles called "buses" designed to transport people for a small fee to and from places like libraries. Way too good to be true, something's fishy.

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Apr 29Liked by Carlos Greaves

Yeah, I see your point. How can we trust a government that doesn't punish corrupt, collusion-heavy, scumbag former presidents?

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author

Yes, that too.

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In some places you can make reservations & they put them on what they call a ‘mobile library’ and it visits remote rural places with the collection you reserved. And you get to keep them for 2 whole months, It is in fact magic & it happens where I live. Its name is Booky McBookface!

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author

That's awesome! And such a great name!

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It comes every couple of months and I love it. But I stay vigilant!

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I have a small but mighty group of subscribers that are totally 100% not my father and all his email accounts of which he forgot the passwords. I write about introspection inspired by the mundane. And I make fun of myself while I’m at it.

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Apr 29Liked by Carlos Greaves

Three parental email addresses and counting 🙌🏼

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Hi Alexa! I am also Alexa, and my one liker is usually my mom :)

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Sounds like my kids. If only I could get them to read, but it’s lots of Too Busies! LOL

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Thank you for the invitation to introduce myself - though I don’t have less than 1,000 subscribers - instead I have less than 100, and that is another category of Substacks altogether. I also don’t even have paid subscriptions turned on, so you can be sure I am definitely paying all my bills with my substantial Substack income.

As for what I write about: I don’t actually write about anything on my Substack. I have all these plans to write about stuff, and indeed I have written many stuffs in secret, but on my Substack I mainly talk about what I haven’t written. My last post was called “How not to write a memoir”.

Thanks for checking out my Substack. I’m looking forward to being able to say I have less than 1,000 subscribers.

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Apr 27Liked by Carlos Greaves

Hey Jude! (see what I did there? 🎶 But I also did it because your Substack is not new to me, hence the “hey” level of familiarity). Just popped on here to tell you that the journey to 1000 starts with having less than 100. Hang in there!

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Thanks, Amy! I was joking around in that comment because in reality I’m actually thrilled I got so close to 100 in my first month! Thank you for the encouragement.

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Apr 27Liked by Carlos Greaves

That is indeed great growth, in my book! I’ve averaged a little less than 100/month. By my one year anniversary in late July, I hope to hit 1000. And then I’m going to stop thinking about subscriber targets (or so I tell myself 😜).

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Apr 26Liked by Carlos Greaves

Oh no, I'm a complete and utter loser then. I have nowhere near 1,000 followers, never mind subscribers and I've written 170 posts starting on 8th January 2021.

There was an even earlier one, April 2018, about my dog, but no one read it. Pogo was upset so I stopped.

What am I doing?

I'm surrounded by all these successful people with thousands of subs. Maybe they all attended one of those finishing schools which I'm now following with homework and requests for cash to kickstart my Substack numbers and go stratospheric. Turn up on Fridays and be nice to people. Have they any idea how difficult that is to do? Friday's are fine.

I feel sorry for Carlos. Looks like he's done everything right but only earns enough for, well nothing. I know what his problem is. Humour.

He'd be earning a fortune if his audience wanted to laugh. They don't unfortunately. Substack is an earnest place full of serious writers with 1000+ subs who've mastered the art of being nice.

He needs to leave and do something more bookish. Become a librarian. Pay's regular, happens every month, holidays included. A place where readers gather, some even laugh, but not too often.

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Apr 26Liked by Carlos Greaves

I write a substack with less than 1,000 subs! I write about writing, mental health, buddhism/athiesm, culture, and politics. The connecting thread through it all is nuance and navigating complex identities. I started the substack because I have first and foremost always been a writer, but also because I was tired of being misunderstood. I often don't share parts of myself (veganism, bisexual, athiest, etc) because I know people will put me in a box (leftist) that I don't fit in, and I know I'm not the only one with identites that intersect and are in tension, but are also fun and whole, so I strive to help everyone see that in each other.

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I was stoked to find Clare's writing through reading this comment section, what a treat. I'm Ian and I've only been on substack for a month, I have 9 subscribers 😂... I write about self improvement through identifying and breaking down your core complexes. I am big advocate for quality over quantity in relationships and exploring the idea of what is and is not culture-bound in our human experience.

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I'm among the rare few substack people with less than a thousand subscribers. I write a Dear Abby-style writing advice newsletter, call Writer Therapy, because even though I am a writer and not a therapist, isn't being a writer really the same skillset?

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Another less than 1000 subscriber Substacker here. I have a measly 45. I write about me, so pretty niche! Me is a midlife perimenopausal woman, living in Orkney, Scotland chatting about life, what it’s like to live on a tiny island & my garden. I also ‘try’ to be funny! I’m a learner writer rather than a writer so not sure it counts.

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I’m at 835 and roaring on my way to 1000 … at this pace, I’ll make it sometime very late in 2024. I write “Out Over My Skis,” about pushing at your own limits. And I read your stuff religiously.

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author

Thanks, Tom! Btw, your tip about changing the app settings to not open to Notes by default was excellent advice!

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Oh good, it’s been a savior for me: I only wade into the social media side of Substack when I really want it.

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Tom! Fun to find you here. Please share with me this tip that he’s talking about!!

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Hey Blake, the tip is to change your Substack app settings (buried in there somewhere) so that you open to your subscription Inbox and not to Notes. It’s devilishly effective.

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Apr 26Liked by Carlos Greaves

I thought this was looking good until I got to the 1000 subs bit! Yes, I have way less at 20, on last look. There must be more than me right?!

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Same here Sam. Still in single figures. And I think a few of them are family.

So you're not alone. I guess the only way is up?

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Apr 28Liked by Carlos Greaves

When I broke 200, I wondered how in the world I would ever fit that many people in my kitchen for the seasonal potluck they surely deserve. So I had a picnic and 9 people came, which felt nice because my lemon loaf was cut into 10 pieces. Also, I write about unconditional love and I unconditionally love the quiet space into which my notes go, usually neglected but waving like tall poppies anyway... Onward to 309, I say. And I'll double the loaf recipe. Love!

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