Very authentic and enjoyable read. I too suffered through panic attacks for about a decade in my youth. But when you read about them or remember them they seem comical as they are so irrational. Like the old silent comedy movies
Well this is timely. I just had my second panic attack yesterday, having wrongfully assumed that my first, years ago, was an anomaly. Thanks for sharing! We need more stories like this to give each other language for what feels like certain death. At the very least, it can save us Americans from unnecessary medical bills. Because the only thing worse than feeling like you're dying is anticipating the bill that comes from making it out alive!
I’m sorry to hear that, Heather. But I can say from experience that things like therapy and breathing exercises and mindfulness and regular exercise have all been helpful. All easier said than done and of course everyone is different, but hopefully you find what works for you!
And yes, it’s infuriating that the U.S. medical system is set up that you have to decide in the moment if your emergency is enough of an emergency to warrant several thousand dollars of hospital bills. Totally ridiculous.
Carlos, George, Heather, & Steve….nice to meet you all. The few times I’ve brought up my panic attacks with others they’ve dismissively said something like, “yeah I think I’ve had those before, when I was really stressed.” Uh no, if you’ve really had them they are absolutely terrifying.
Carlos, I have so been there, in that I have had dozens of true panic attacks and therapy, the passing of time, and knowing my triggers has really helped. The bathroom, walk cycle was hilarious (and painful). I love your writing. I have just discovered you on Substack and I am looking so forward to reading more!
"But when it comes to death, there is something that gives me a bit of comfort. It’s a hope that stems from that panic attack I had in Iceland twelve years ago. That when death does come for me, and I have a sneaking suspicion it eventually will, I hope that it feels a little bit like being in the back seat of that car speeding through rural Iceland in the rain — that at the moment when I should be the most terrified and the road ahead feels the least certain — all I want to do is lean my head back, close my eyes, and rest."
I really liked this part, I think it's so gracefully written.
I have anxiety, but thankfully I’ve never had a panic attack. This gave me a much clearer understanding of what the people in my life who do have them go through. I hope the rest of your trip got better!
I wouldn't wish panic attacks on anyone, but it weirdly makes me feel better to learn I'm not alone in having experienced them firsthand. They are life-sucking jerks. The panic attacks, I mean. Not the people having them. They are amazing humans who carry the lion's share of worry so the non-panicky people can live in blissful ignorance of all the danger that surrounds them. 💙 Thanks for sharing your story.
Very authentic and enjoyable read. I too suffered through panic attacks for about a decade in my youth. But when you read about them or remember them they seem comical as they are so irrational. Like the old silent comedy movies
Thanks, George! And yes, they’re terrifying in the moment and then you look back and go, “Seriously? I was freaked out about THAT?”
Time seems to cure everything
Well this is timely. I just had my second panic attack yesterday, having wrongfully assumed that my first, years ago, was an anomaly. Thanks for sharing! We need more stories like this to give each other language for what feels like certain death. At the very least, it can save us Americans from unnecessary medical bills. Because the only thing worse than feeling like you're dying is anticipating the bill that comes from making it out alive!
I’m sorry to hear that, Heather. But I can say from experience that things like therapy and breathing exercises and mindfulness and regular exercise have all been helpful. All easier said than done and of course everyone is different, but hopefully you find what works for you!
And yes, it’s infuriating that the U.S. medical system is set up that you have to decide in the moment if your emergency is enough of an emergency to warrant several thousand dollars of hospital bills. Totally ridiculous.
Carlos, George, Heather, & Steve….nice to meet you all. The few times I’ve brought up my panic attacks with others they’ve dismissively said something like, “yeah I think I’ve had those before, when I was really stressed.” Uh no, if you’ve really had them they are absolutely terrifying.
Hi, Henny! Yup, been there. Anyone who hasn’t experience a panic attack really has no clue what they’re really like.
I survived my panic attacks, but I sure didn't think I would at the time. They're no joke.
Carlos, I have so been there, in that I have had dozens of true panic attacks and therapy, the passing of time, and knowing my triggers has really helped. The bathroom, walk cycle was hilarious (and painful). I love your writing. I have just discovered you on Substack and I am looking so forward to reading more!
Thanks, Gayle!
"But when it comes to death, there is something that gives me a bit of comfort. It’s a hope that stems from that panic attack I had in Iceland twelve years ago. That when death does come for me, and I have a sneaking suspicion it eventually will, I hope that it feels a little bit like being in the back seat of that car speeding through rural Iceland in the rain — that at the moment when I should be the most terrified and the road ahead feels the least certain — all I want to do is lean my head back, close my eyes, and rest."
I really liked this part, I think it's so gracefully written.
Thank you, Nick!
I have anxiety, but thankfully I’ve never had a panic attack. This gave me a much clearer understanding of what the people in my life who do have them go through. I hope the rest of your trip got better!
Thanks, Chris! Luckily, the trip was great from there on out.
I wouldn't wish panic attacks on anyone, but it weirdly makes me feel better to learn I'm not alone in having experienced them firsthand. They are life-sucking jerks. The panic attacks, I mean. Not the people having them. They are amazing humans who carry the lion's share of worry so the non-panicky people can live in blissful ignorance of all the danger that surrounds them. 💙 Thanks for sharing your story.
I agree! Hearing other people’s experiences in the comments has made me feel a lot less alone, too. Thanks for your reply, Meg!