The next country we should invade is Luxemburg. It's tiny, white, and rich. It may even have a monarchy we could topple. We could set up some Swiss-type banks for our own rich people to hide their money in. And, we should build a bunch of gambling casinos where wealthy US citizens could go to play. Last, it would be really great if we did above-ground nuclear bomb testing there.
I’ve been a touch obsessed with Sparks for three years now. I may also run an exclusively-Sparks Twatter account. I may also write nothing but ridiculous shit that only a fellow deviant would enjoy. I’ve only been here a couple weeks but your writing is my favorite so far. I also suspect you may be Tralfamadorian. Or Kilgore Trout.
Make sure you get included in the do-not-bombard list in case of internal bombardment "tests" they might "accidentally" conduct. Nice piece for April Fools.
Requesting a follow-up on how the war sausage gets made 🙏🏾
I will send periodic updates from the front lines
Congrats, Carlos! Working with a brand that aligns with your values is the apex of creator capitalism.
For the record, Olympus has no natural resources.
The next country we should invade is Luxemburg. It's tiny, white, and rich. It may even have a monarchy we could topple. We could set up some Swiss-type banks for our own rich people to hide their money in. And, we should build a bunch of gambling casinos where wealthy US citizens could go to play. Last, it would be really great if we did above-ground nuclear bomb testing there.
That decision tree 😂 but also the fact you had to put April fool at the bottom lest anyone take you seriously!
“Valued element of a PTA (Parent Teacher Association / Perimeter Threat Assessment)” 😂 so good
How do you come up with these essays, Carlos 😂 they are soooo good!
Thanks, Savannah! I think its a combination of years of practice and too much time on my hands 🤣
I can see that sponsorship has left your trademark humour completely untouched.
May I suggest a theme song? I’m sure the Raytheon people will love it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-Vy6qmRMk4&pp=ygUqc3BhcmtzIGJhYnkgYmFieSBjYW4gaSBpbnZhZGUgeW91ciBjb3VudHJ5
Hahaha, that's perfect. I actually just watched the documentary about Sparks, they're great.
I’ve been a touch obsessed with Sparks for three years now. I may also run an exclusively-Sparks Twatter account. I may also write nothing but ridiculous shit that only a fellow deviant would enjoy. I’ve only been here a couple weeks but your writing is my favorite so far. I also suspect you may be Tralfamadorian. Or Kilgore Trout.
Thanks! I can’t say I perceive all time simultaneously but I have written a book so I think that makes me more of a Kilgore Trout
Make sure you get included in the do-not-bombard list in case of internal bombardment "tests" they might "accidentally" conduct. Nice piece for April Fools.
Paid subscribers are automatically added to the do-not-bombard list 😂
Do I get free bullets if I restack?
OMGosh! Hilarious! Truly snort, laugh out loud, snort again kind of writing. Superior! … and that’s why we subscribe.🥰
Don't just start the war hahahaha
Does your agreement include an exclusivity clause? So, Lockheed-Martin is on the market? Asking for a friend. . .
I was ready to unsubscribe when I realized today's date...
Substack was made for you.