42 Comments
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Amran Gowani's avatar

Wait, they're saying you're too negative? But, you're the happiest writer I know...

Congrats on that piece blowing up! Here's hoping the momentum continues.

Cristina Carmona Aliaga's avatar

Right? I second that, I find Carlo's writing quite upbeat and funny. Maybe we're the negative ones and therefore can't see it as two negatives cancel out and become positive? Terrible joke.

Christine Ahh's avatar

Brilliant! But you missed one opportunity for us writers. After you die (in prison) your writing will blow up Huge. You'll join the club of Posthumous Prestige & Popularity.

Katie Cowan's avatar

But Carlos I did have to go to law school, are there any other prize options available please

Carlos Greaves's avatar

Hmm, I guess you could spend a few thousand to self-publish a book and that debt could be considered “winning” negative money?

Katie Cowan's avatar

True true true true true. I did actually get a book published about being a lawyer so I guess I need to reframe my thinking - I did 12 years of immersive prep for my writing. And hey, if a small print run and author fee isn’t worth a 12 year run up then you’re doing your writing wrong 😌

Imola's avatar

Shared on notes! Frickin’ brilliant! And sadly true…

Shikhil Vyas's avatar

Spot on :D - "Being a writer is essentially paraphrasing other writers with a few light changes that appeal to modern sensibilities."

Istiaq Mian, MD's avatar

To become a writer, you do not need to be good at math - that was the best joke :) #subscribed

Natalie Mead's avatar

Looking forward to your thoughts on comedy writing! I keep kicking myself for being so interested in this most underpaid of art forms, but I might as well figure out how to actually do it.

Carlos Greaves's avatar

Thanks, Natalie! Yeah, it's a brutal industry, but I just try my best to enjoy it for the art itself and the chance to make people laugh.

Mark with a K's avatar

Congrats on the latest McSweeney's piece!

Alicia Kenworthy's avatar

It's truly a mess out there. Thank you for making me laugh!

Harshini Rajachander's avatar

Wow I feel less alone. I’m also an ex-electrical engineer who wants to write. Lol. Glad to find your substack!

Gila Pfeffer's avatar

this is a classic

Donna McArthur's avatar

Writer push ups🤣🤣

Teyani Whitman's avatar

We could easily begin a note about all the things you don’t have to do in order to become a professional writer… it’s a rather compelling list.

- don’t have to go to law school (thank god!)

- don’t have to do a grueling four year residency

- don’t have to pass the oral and written boards

- don’t have to study for nor take the LSTAT

- don’t have to know animal husbandry

- don’t have to live on a mountaintop in silent meditation

- don’t have to win any Michelin awards

- don’t need perfect eyesight

- don’t need to have steady hands

- don’t need to have rhythm

….

Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Alright!!! I'll subscribe already!! This was hilarious and ooooh so true. It reminded me of something I wrote about how blind I was as a famous travel blogger. It's kind of the same as being a writer except you carry a selfie stick 😂

If you're interested, it's kind of funny.....https://wildhoodwanted.substack.com/p/youre-starring-in-a-blockbuster-movie

Mansi Kwatra's avatar

Ah! I tend to think a lot about balancing my work and my side hustle (this newsletter) because we all know where the real passion lies out of these two lol. But yes, being a writer is mostly about writing but the other part of it is luck, self-promotion, rejections etc.

I feel you Carlos, and I am glad you are doing some good work here by not giving up despite the challenges. Love this for you!!

Sara Szatmary's avatar

I did a literal spit take at “*sobs loudly*”. Thank you for that.