Recently I came across some writing that said "I'm not everything I've always wanted to be, but I'm a whole of things I wanted to be three years ago." and it totally shifted my perspective on this type of accomplishment hunger loop I can get into!
I love this. I totally agree that you need a mix of "I am a genius" and "I am the most beginning beginner who ever beginned" to keep going. I was going through some of my grad school work this weekend (grad school!!!!) and it was...not good. That could either be a bummer, or I can be psyched about how much better I've gotten since then. I choose the latter, and continue to dream about when they beg me to come back to talk to them and I refuse unless they refund my student loans.
Excellent post! I agree—writers have to be delusional. About once a week I’ll claim grandly that I’m the best kids’ book writer working today. I know it sounds absurd, but (1) I actually believe it, and (2) I’d probably give up if I DIDN’T believe it.
“Schröedinger’s scat”, thank you, Carlos! I can confirm that being delusional is the only way to keep going as a writer until you are as good as you always thought you were.
I believed I was a brilliant writer from the age of 9. It just took another 39 years to demonstrate this (to me, patently obvious) fact to the rest of the world with an award-winning novel!
And hell, I still get a cousin asking me last month “are you still writing?”, like it’s hobby rather than my identity! Delusion all the way, I say. Eventually, the world (or at least the parts that matter) come around to your way of thinking.
Also, speaking as someone who didn’t get their breakthrough until age 48, you are still young!
I love this take and I’m very tempted to take this quote and print it out on scraps of paper and hand them to my students and myself when I’m feeling dejected. “I suck less than I did before.” That’s gold right there.
So true. I was just revisiting an old piece that was rejected by McSweeney’s because I was thinking I could maybe revive it but upon rereading it realized it was not good. Also just set aside another project that I think is good but maybe just needs more time.
You should save the money your spending on joke writing workshops-unless they are more collaboration than instruction. Of course, I am of the (perhaps old-fashioned) opinion that, beyond the basics, writing (especially in the realm of funny) cannot be taught. Bouncing things off others, if that's what the workshops are about, is another story.
In any case, I think you are probably the best comic writer in most rooms you might occupy, so you should think about being paid to facilitate rather than paying to be facilitated upon.
Thanks, Jane! I appreciate the kind words. I attended the workshop as much to learn as to find community with other comedy writers, and luckily I managed to do both, so it was worth it in this case.
This was great Carlos, thanks! I am just reading The Onion book (wrote about it last week, too) and have also been trying to get into McSweeney's. I'm trying to suck less every day!!
Delusion is at the epicenter of every successful creative career! Hell, Hollywood doesn't even exist without it. And you use it for fuel to get you through the gauntlet. You suck until you don't; you're poor until you're rich; you're nobody until you're somebody. Putting *luck* aside, a crucial x-factor, all you can control is the work. (Yours is great, and I consistently enjoy it.)
You're one of the best satire writers I've ever come across, so I can't tell you how much I appreciate this piece!! I've got no doubt that pilot will find its home. Have you heard of Stage 32? They have a lot of contests, I'm sure you'd be a slam dunk for any you enter. :)
Thanks for sharing some of your journey Carlos. It's easy to feel a lot of writers here are doing great and things come easily but this shows your grind. You were determined and persistent in regards to The Onion and McSweeney's and it's inspiring to me. Keep going for that fellowship, I'm rooting for you.
Recently I came across some writing that said "I'm not everything I've always wanted to be, but I'm a whole of things I wanted to be three years ago." and it totally shifted my perspective on this type of accomplishment hunger loop I can get into!
Needed this! I am the liminal shit.
I love this. I totally agree that you need a mix of "I am a genius" and "I am the most beginning beginner who ever beginned" to keep going. I was going through some of my grad school work this weekend (grad school!!!!) and it was...not good. That could either be a bummer, or I can be psyched about how much better I've gotten since then. I choose the latter, and continue to dream about when they beg me to come back to talk to them and I refuse unless they refund my student loans.
Excellent post! I agree—writers have to be delusional. About once a week I’ll claim grandly that I’m the best kids’ book writer working today. I know it sounds absurd, but (1) I actually believe it, and (2) I’d probably give up if I DIDN’T believe it.
“Schröedinger’s scat”, thank you, Carlos! I can confirm that being delusional is the only way to keep going as a writer until you are as good as you always thought you were.
I believed I was a brilliant writer from the age of 9. It just took another 39 years to demonstrate this (to me, patently obvious) fact to the rest of the world with an award-winning novel!
And hell, I still get a cousin asking me last month “are you still writing?”, like it’s hobby rather than my identity! Delusion all the way, I say. Eventually, the world (or at least the parts that matter) come around to your way of thinking.
Also, speaking as someone who didn’t get their breakthrough until age 48, you are still young!
Thanks, Ros! I'm glad you've stuck with it until the world finally caught up!
I love this take and I’m very tempted to take this quote and print it out on scraps of paper and hand them to my students and myself when I’m feeling dejected. “I suck less than I did before.” That’s gold right there.
So true. I was just revisiting an old piece that was rejected by McSweeney’s because I was thinking I could maybe revive it but upon rereading it realized it was not good. Also just set aside another project that I think is good but maybe just needs more time.
Incredibly relatable, especially-”I suck less than I did before.” Thanks for sharing.
For your unsolicited advice file:
You should save the money your spending on joke writing workshops-unless they are more collaboration than instruction. Of course, I am of the (perhaps old-fashioned) opinion that, beyond the basics, writing (especially in the realm of funny) cannot be taught. Bouncing things off others, if that's what the workshops are about, is another story.
In any case, I think you are probably the best comic writer in most rooms you might occupy, so you should think about being paid to facilitate rather than paying to be facilitated upon.
Thanks, Jane! I appreciate the kind words. I attended the workshop as much to learn as to find community with other comedy writers, and luckily I managed to do both, so it was worth it in this case.
This was great Carlos, thanks! I am just reading The Onion book (wrote about it last week, too) and have also been trying to get into McSweeney's. I'm trying to suck less every day!!
Delusion is at the epicenter of every successful creative career! Hell, Hollywood doesn't even exist without it. And you use it for fuel to get you through the gauntlet. You suck until you don't; you're poor until you're rich; you're nobody until you're somebody. Putting *luck* aside, a crucial x-factor, all you can control is the work. (Yours is great, and I consistently enjoy it.)
You're one of the best satire writers I've ever come across, so I can't tell you how much I appreciate this piece!! I've got no doubt that pilot will find its home. Have you heard of Stage 32? They have a lot of contests, I'm sure you'd be a slam dunk for any you enter. :)
Thanks for sharing some of your journey Carlos. It's easy to feel a lot of writers here are doing great and things come easily but this shows your grind. You were determined and persistent in regards to The Onion and McSweeney's and it's inspiring to me. Keep going for that fellowship, I'm rooting for you.
Thanks for this, Carlos! I join you in believing in you!