271 Comments
Jan 28·edited Jan 28Liked by Carlos Greaves

I fucking love this. All I will say though, is 451-439 = 12, not 11. Thanks!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Zan! Yeah, it’s a particularly embarrassing mistake considering I have a background in engineering 😭 that’s what I get for writing this in a frustration-induced fugue state

Expand full comment
Jan 31Liked by Carlos Greaves

Carlos, a frsutration-induced fugue state is the default writing state for me - so I can relate completely ... don't look at any of my past posts - you'll be marred with many a typo 😂

Expand full comment

Hahahaha. Math - who needs it?

Expand full comment

Seriously

Expand full comment

Brillant but you need more cowbell.

Expand full comment
Feb 4Liked by Carlos Greaves

We all do

Expand full comment

Ya make that a whooping 13. What a riot!

Expand full comment

Substack needed this post. Great stuff!

Expand full comment
Feb 4Liked by Carlos Greaves

I agree

Expand full comment

Hey I’ve gone from 0 to I think 7 in 2 months, only hard work and asking the universe has gotten me there. 🤪😜😵‍💫 maybe 14 by next year eh? 😂😂😂😂 cracking post.

Expand full comment

Excellent, and a lot of fun to read. I don't feel so bad about my slow-growing Substack now. It allows me to write and draw about whatever I'm into this week. And if I'm not into anything I want to share, I don't.

I'll keep posting regularly, when I can, and hopefully discover some topics I love sharing and people love reading.

Let's enjoy the ride and see what happens!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks! And I think that’s a good approach. There’s all this artificial pressure to constantly “grow” and it can sometimes take the joy out of doing the thing itself.

Expand full comment

Artificial Pressure?? R U Nutz? I suppose you think that AI artificial too? Jeez, man...you have to CRUSH IT to WIN IT, dude.

:) Perfect post. I enjoyed it.

Expand full comment

Hi, Khalid. I’ve been thinking this week about the difference between staying focused and passionate about where our selves are taking us on their selfing journey, and what the world wants. Stick with what you’re into. Stick with you. I’ll die on that hill, because that’s where the joy and satisfaction are.

Expand full comment
Jan 30Liked by Carlos Greaves

Haha note is so good. I’ve recent discovered everything that is great in life is the product of slow growth; the newer, and greater, and higher, and nobler the work, the slower is its growth, the surer is its lasting success. Mushrooms attain their full power in a night; oaks require decades. A fad lives its life in a few weeks; a philosophy lives through generations and centuries.

Expand full comment
author

Well said!

Expand full comment

You forgot the part where humans finally get wise right before they die (if at all, lol).

Expand full comment

I do quite like mushrooms though.

Expand full comment

Hmm. I meant just regular cooking mushrooms!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Expand full comment
Dec 9, 2023Liked by Carlos Greaves

carlos 😂😂😂 i needed this laugh thanks

Expand full comment

"....pick something you enjoy failing at." Yes to that! I've been 'failing' on Substack since 2018 but it hasn't been a total loss. I post 4-5 times a month and now have a pretty good archive to pull from. Not to mention all the practice honing my writing skills. Thanks for this honest, light-hearted post! Save me from myself before I die taking myself too seriously 😂

Expand full comment
Jan 28Liked by Carlos Greaves

I’ve considered writing one of these posts for months so I was relieved and delighted to see someone else pick up the mantle. The stack measuring contest that proliferates Notes, can feel demoralizing. Thanks for the comic relief. 😂

Expand full comment

This is hilarious. I actually get so peeved that these creative platforms always end up flooded with folks who just post about how to be successful on these platforms.

Expand full comment

Me too and that is what put me off of Medium but I appreciate that the quality of the content I find here is still a lot better than Medium which has me stay. I find some of the advice useful as starting points but I don’t like when they assume that there is one solid rule that will work with every writer, type of content, and readership. Each relationship we build is unique and we are co-creating what the “rules” of that relationship are as we go along (and they sure can shift over time!) so they won’t apply universally to every relationship.

Expand full comment
Jan 28Liked by Carlos Greaves

This might be the funniest thing I have read on this platform. If you ever revise, consider an 800 word section in the article about the importance of writing an absolutely perfect thanks for subscribing email.

Expand full comment

Chuckling!

Expand full comment

This was a great post Carlos and as a newbie here I have to say it is exactly what I needed to read. I love an extremely well written piece of satire and you nailed it.

Expand full comment

I’ve been on Substack 3 mos and from what I’ve seen, this post deserves to go viral. Cathartic read. But I was very very sad to learn your real numbers. I felt like you were a with me in the void until then. Now I know I live there.. alone.

Expand full comment

Carlos, this is really funny, laugh out loud funny, and your tone is perfect. It is humble, but I think your acknowledgement of the hard work comment is totally valid.

I just wrote a post this weekend about how I thought my dog was a mole, a secret Moms for Liberty agent, because she has started eating my books. I was highly entertained by the concept, and I had so much fun writing the post, and it included ridiculous and adorable pics, but it performed poorly according to the stats.

But it was super fun for me to write, and it made me laugh, and like four or five other folks too, and some of those folks weren't related to me. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Mary! I can safely say the stats got it wrong because your piece is great.

Expand full comment

Thanks so much for reading and for the kind feedback.

Expand full comment
Jan 30Liked by Carlos Greaves

I Doubled My Sales! Going over my sheet music sales from 2023 I see in 2022 one person bought my Holiday Overture for Solo Clarinet, and in 2023 two people bought it!

Expand full comment
author

100% year over year growth! 🚀

Expand full comment

I found that 90% of the action on my seminal books, to which researchers refer in their literature reviews, are 100% free on the piracy websites. However, I love pirates 100% of the time. Will you do the math for me on that? I’m still winning, right? <I’m not on my phone so just use a dinosaur emoji here.>

Expand full comment

Loved it (from a peer writer having about the same number of subs and the same "growth" rate!) -- maybe my favorite thing is that the graph implies you gaining and losing a fractional number of people per day, like it's somehow measuring that moment of indecision when people even *think* about smashing that sub button.

Expand full comment
author

I hadn’t thought about that but great point! Maybe a fractional subscriber is someone who subscribes but never opens the emails 😂

Expand full comment

I don’t know, Carlos, it seems fake. 11 new subscribers seem excessive to me so how can we be sure that you’re not downplaying this astonishing growth so that we don’t feel bad about our invisibility and put likes and comments on this post so you can get another whooping 5 subscribers on our account? I’m not buying it, sorry. Good try, though.

Expand full comment

If grain of salt was an article!

Expand full comment